Tuesday, 10 May 2016

When singleness is hard...

So a while ago, I wrote this article. The purpose-driven single. That was me. 26 years old, loving God, learning a lot and confident that I would be married anytime soon. Fast forward 5 years, and on the one hand, a lot has changed. On the other hand, not much has. I still don't like to hear people bemoaning the fact that they are single. I love to give advice. That's part of the reason I wrote that article. Find your purpose. Serve God faithfully. Wait patiently. God is enough. More than enough. Marriage won't make you happy.

I meant what I wrote.

But I didn't realise that I would go through quite a bit of testing over the next few years to see how much I meant what I wrote.

Being single can be hard, really hard, when you feel like you've been waiting a long time for something that you were made to have.

For something that is supposedly good.

When you feel like you've tried to honor God by trusting Him and waiting for His best, and His timing.

God is enough, yes, but why doesn't it always feel like that?

There's so much to be thankful for, yes, but why does it feel like there's still something missing?

I don't have all the answers. But, personally, I came to a point in  my life where I knew that I had to make a choice. I was either going to just go for it in my walk with God, whether or not I ever got married, or, I could spend the rest of  my life wanting and waiting. I was either going to be fully in, or just opt out.

After a really hard breakup, I made my decision. I couldn't afford to hinge my happiness on an imaginary man that might never show up, or one that would disappoint me in the future, whether or not he was 'the one'.

I felt like God was saying to me, 'how long are you going to keep doing this, going round and round in circles, breakup after breakup, waiting for a man to complete you and make you whole, when I'm right here, all that you need?'

It took that experience to help me come to the realisation that God was indeed enough, and the only one I could really put all my hope and trust in.

Sometimes, God allows those kinds of experiences to happen, for us to come to the same realisation.

So, even though I know it's hard sometimes (or maybe even a lot of the time for some of you reading this), I pray you hold on, and just keep moving. I pray it will someday be a thing of the past for you, and you will get your heart's desire.

But most of all, I pray that even if you don't, you don't settle for less, and miss out on life and all God has in store for you.

If you only had five years to live...

So I regularly meet with a couple of young people, to disciple them and just do life together. At the moment, we're going through 'The Purpose driven life' by Rick Warren. Great book. Yesterday we were looking at the chapter that focuses on eternity and how there is more to life than life here on earth. Our life here is just the dress rehearsal for eternity.

I asked them this question; if you knew you only had 5 years to live, what would you do differently with your life right now (if anything)? What would you stop doing, and what would you start doing? One person mentioned that she would do whatever she could to see the world (a dream of hers), and another person said he would ask God to show Him what to do with those 5 years.

I had had some time to think about the question, so I gave my answer. If I knew I only had 5 years to live, there was one main thing I would stop doing.

Wasting time.

You know how sometimes you sit around just doing nothing (or maybe just scrolling through social media) and you suddenly realise that two hours have gone by and you haven't actually done anything worthwhile? Well, that's me, sometimes. So, I would stop wasting time and use it more wisely.

What would I start doing?

I would start spending time doing the things I know God has called me to do, some of which are sharing my thoughts / learning points through various forms of writing (hence restarting this blog), mentoring young people, developing myself in the area of worship leading, amongst others.

So, I ask you the same question;

If you knew you had only 5 years to live, what would you do differently?

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Songshare- O Lord, you're beautiful

So I read an article yesterday about how writing makes you a better person. Long story, but some of the reasons given were that it helps you think, makes you feel accomplished, and it helps build discipline when you write habitually.

So, here I am, writing. Again.

Anyway, I want to share a song with you; one I've known for years but still has a deep impact on me whenever I hear or sing it. It's titled 'O Lord, you're beautiful' and originally by a guy called Keith Green. One day, I'll share his story. But, for now, just listen...(I've shared the version from Jesus Culture, but you can find the original version here).

Here are the lyrics...

O Lord, You're beautiful
Your face is all I seek
And when Your eyes are on this child,
Your grace abounds to me

I wanna take Your word and shine it all around
But first, help me just to live it, Lord
And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek a crown
For my reward is giving glory to You.

I can't really put to words all the reasons I love this song, but one of them is because it challenges me.

'And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek a crown, for my reward is giving glory to you.'

I'm always struck by these words because I know that when things are going well for me, whether in some form of ministry, or in my career, when I'm in the spotlight, that's when I'm tempted to think that I got there all by myself, and it's all about me. That's when I'm tempted to lap it up, to be noticed even more.

This song reminds me every time that it's not about me, it's about Him. My reward is not an earthly crown, or praise from men. My reward is bringing glory to His name.

Let me know if it speaks to you too.