'He wants me all to Himself...'
I was reading something online and those words came to me. I've been learning a lot in the past few weeks, almost too much that it's hard to keep up. I've been learning what it means to surrender. To surrender my own will, my own desires, for whatever God wants. I can't even say that I fully know what that is yet. It's hard cos I think I know what I want, but every time I come up against a brick wall, I realise that what I wanted wasn't quite what God wanted for me.
He wants me all to Himself...
It's scary. I was at a ladies' conference last year and one of the speakers was talking about marriage and she said she had to finally get to the point where she was like, 'I can't keep doing this. God, I don't care whether I get married or not, I'm just going to keep following you.' She did get married. But I remember thinking, 'that's easy for you to say...you're married now...'
I never thought I could get to that point.
But I'm learning that true surrender, deciding to follow Jesus at all costs, means laying down everything, including that thing you think you can't live without. Especially that thing you think you can't live without.
Because He wants you all to Himself.
Nothing can be more important to you than your relationship with Christ. If you think about it, it's only fair; He gave up His life for you. Like I said in a previous post, He gave all, He asks all.
Of course I'm not saying that following Christ means He'll ask you to give up everything you desire. But it means you have to be willing to give anything up if it did come to that. And I mean ANYTHING. I think that's what it means to 'die to self'. I think that's also what Paul meant in Philippians 3 v 8;
'...I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ...'
Knowing Christ surpasses everything else. Everything else is pretty much rubbish in comparison.
So, I think I'm finally getting there. It's scary, but exciting at the same time. You see, what you give up cannot even begin to compare to what you gain in return...