Picture this, ladies. You meet a guy you like, he says hello, you have a nice conversation, you see each other for a few weeks and you start to think ‘hmmm...he might just be the one’. But then, for some reason, he stops calling. He doesn’t text. He doesn’t come to see you. You wonder why. What went wrong? When you finally hear from him, he tells you he’s been busy. Something came up at work. He forgot to charge his phone. Someone stole his phone. His mother died. He was ill. (Pick one; the list is endless).
I love this movie. Whilst I try not to take too many lessons from rom-coms, I actually think this one is quite good, and lots of ladies (and men, I guess) need to see it. I remember going to see the movie with a friend and as I was watching it I was thinking of another friend that was having man troubles. She was always like ‘why won’t he call me?’ ‘Doesn’t he miss me?’ and all of that stuff. I so desperately wanted to tell her in the nicest possible way, ‘he’s just not that into you.’
So the movie basically tries to help women understand that if a guy wants you, he’ll move Heaven and earth (metaphorically) to get you. For real. You don’t need to make excuses for him, and you certainly don’t need to call him. For those that are still not getting it, let me help you out a little...
A guy you like says he likes you, but you don’t hear from him. You want to call him, for one or more of the following reasons;
‘Maybe he’s just too busy at work; there’s no time to call/text/get in touch’ - Really? If he’s too busy to get in touch with the girl that he supposedly likes, then he’s too busy, full stop. And is that the kind of guy you want to spend the rest of your life with?
‘Maybe he’s ill/got run over by a bus/got attacked by robbers or a wild animal’ - If this is the case, you’ll find out soon enough, trust me. Save your credit/airtime/minutes.
‘Maybe he’s dead’ - Now, what good would calling him do?
It is worth pointing out that in all my years of dating (and all my friends’ too), none of these excuses has actually turned out to be reality.
I was chatting with an old friend the other day and she was telling me about a guy that she likes, that claims to like her too, but hardly calls her, and sometimes doesn’t even bother returning her calls/texts. I was like, ‘girl, you need to forget about this dude, he’s not serious.’ She agreed with me, but you know how it is with us women; where there are feelings involved, we find it difficult to think sanely sometimes. On the other hand, this same friend of mine also has another guy on her case, but this guy is the complete opposite of the guy she likes. He calls/texts/bbms/'whatever else people do these days' her all the time. In fact so much so that she thinks he’s borderline psycho. I know, you can never please us women! Anyway, when she told me all about this borderline psycho dude and the stuff he does for her, we both came to the conclusion that really, if a guy likes you, he’ll show you that he likes you. He’ll take time off work to see you if he needs to. He’ll spend all his airtime calling you. He’ll buy you gifts. He’ll do whatever it takes so that you’re not unsure of his intentions.
So ladies, stop making excuses for that man. If you really don’t know where you stand with him and he’s not making much of an effort, or seems to always have excuses at the ready, take the hint. He’s just not that into you.
*picture from 'lifebetweenthesheets'