|Picture taken from mimifroufrou.com. I chose it because|
Patrick Dempsey is hot.
So, I just finished watching an episode of Grey's anatomy, 'Superfreak' to be exact. It was fab. I love Grey's anatomy; at one time it was just because they were using one of my favourite songs as their theme song but then I watched a few episodes and thought, 'wow, this is pretty good!'. Plus it's a great way to learn about the human body without being a doctor. Anyway, my love for Grey's is not what this is about. One of the story-lines in this episode was about a 27-year-old virgin, who was having difficulties breathing. Turns out she had something stuck in her breathing apparatus; you need to watch it to see what it was. Riveting stuff. Anyway, the buzz the virgin patient creates gets everyone reminiscing about their first time. One of the doctors, April, doesn't say much, because she’s a virgin, too. When asked for a contribution to the discussion, she makes up a story about her first time being on the beach with the sunset, fireworks and all. The others think this sounds too good to be true and soon figure out that she's a virgin. They go on to tease her about it, and when she's had enough, she speaks up to defend herself. But what she goes on to say, I find somewhat disheartening.
Apparently she decided not to have sex because she was waiting for the right person and she wanted it to be special. But then she realised that she'd waited too long and no guy would probably even want to be with her because of her apparent weird and annoying nature. She also adds that she doesn’t think her sex life (or lack of one) should be up for public discussion. It was a really well-acted scene, I must say. But it made me think, as most things do; what kind of messed-up world must we live in for one to be embarrassed about having morals? Or be ridiculed for it? Or for it to be something that we 'don't talk about'?
Having counselled numerous teenagers seeking the 'morning-after pill', 'waiting for the right person' and 'wanting it to be special' both sound like good ideas to me. Sometimes I look at these young girls (I feel so old around teenagers) and in my head I'm thinking, 'do you even know what you're doing?' The consequences of premarital sex don't just stop at the possibility of getting pregnant or catching a deadly disease. Watching the other doctors teasing April, I couldn't help but wonder how many of them (if they were to be honest) regretted the person they had had sex with; one of them couldn't even remember their name! I know it's only a series but the reality is that this storyline actually reflects the current situation a lot clearer than probably even the writers realise.
So whilst I can understand April's trepidation at revealing that she's 28 and still a virgin, I really wish she wasn't ashamed or embarrassed about it. I wish she didn't just say 'we all have things we don't talk about'. I wish instead she said something like 'I'm a virgin, so what? At least I don't have to live with the regret that I gave a most precious gift to a random guy whose name I don't even remember!' or something along those lines. I wish more people in the world would stand up for what they believe is right without any shame or fear of rejection. She did give them an earful though, but I still wish...