Anyway, I can't be bothered to get a cab to my usual church so I decide to go with my mum. I get there, and it's all good. The Sunday school is interesting, lots of lively discussion. At some point I take a look at the bulletin (or programme, for those of you not familiar with the Anglican way). I notice that number five on the list says 'Evangelism'. I think nothing of it, assuming it's probably something to do with the evangelism department, maybe a drama sketch or something. I'm actually looking forward to it. But as the minutes go by, and from some of the stuff the pastor is saying, I begin to realise that the word 'Evangelism' actually means what it says this time; we (i.e. the church) are going out on the streets to try to win some souls. I am mortified. 'Lord, you can't be serious!', I think to myself. 'On the one day I decide to pay this place a visit, they decide the church must go out and preach?'
So I begin to devise an escape plan in my head.
Option one: Go home. Just get a cab and head home.
Problem with this option; people will see me and it won't look good escaping whilst others are going out. Plus I'd feel guilty for about a week, and I can't deal with that right now.
Option two: Go to my usual church, will probably still meet the second service.
Problem with this option; same as with option one, plus I'm wearing the same dress I wore to that church the last time I was there, and we all know that won't do.
Option three: Stay at the church and wait for others to come back.
Problem with this option; everyone is going out, even the kids. And if I'm asked why I'm staying back, I'm screwed. I've never been good at lying, especially in church. Plus I'd be bored out of my mind; they won't be back for at least an hour!
Anyway, when I decide there's no good enough escape route, I head out with the rest of the crowd. We're told to go out in pairs, and I know no one, and I don't talk to people, so I'm standing there like a muppet. I'm paired up with a random teenager and he turns me down. Seriously. Anyway, I finally find someone willing to go with me, and we head out to fish.
After walking for a few minutes down some dead streets (everyone goes to church on Sundays in Nigeria, believer or not), we find a potential candidate for our Bible bashing. Just kidding. Anyway, we get talking to this guy, and it is amazing. He listens, and I don't even have to threaten him with hell once. For real. He even sheds a few tears whilst we're praying for him! In my head I'm like, 'this is not happening!' (and I promise I didn't hit him).
In the end, I add two souls to my collection (that sounds kinda evil doesn't it?) and it feels great. I'm so happy I even go into a fast food joint for a quick celebratory meal, before I head back to face the remaining three or so hours of the service. I love Nigerian churches.