|Picture taken from welcomebaby.com|
Their story is not actually uncommon in the African culture. Usually, it is the other way round. An African man has not yet 'arrived' until he has a male child. I know a family that had seven children in their search for a male child. Seven! Thank God the seventh was a boy, otherwise who knows when they would have stopped? Even one male child is not enough sometimes. Another woman I know had a boy and two girls. One day I overheard a conversation she was having with my mum, and she mentioned that she wanted to try for more children to see if she would get another boy, just in case her only son died. Yes, you read right. What a crazy way to think right? I guess maybe it's because I'm a woman that I really don't understand why men want to have a male child so badly. So what if there's no one to carry on your name after you're gone? Truth is you wouldn't even know about it because you'd be dead! Think about it, if you knew that that particular child you long after so much would be your downfall on this earth would you still want him/her so badly? I'm sure many of you know of families where the male children have caused untold heartache to their parents, whilst the females are the ones bringing pride (not to talk of money) to the family. I know the reverse is the case too, and I tried telling that to my mum's friend.
Now I'm not saying I don't want to have a male child. I'm not crazy. I want both male and female, because I believe both sexes are gifts from God. But if I only have one sex, I hope to God I don't beat myself up about it, or put my life at risk by getting pregnant for as many times as it takes to get a particular sex. I would be grateful to God for the fact that at least I have a child/children and I would love and cherish them like life itself. If my mum's friend (who is a lovely lady by the way) had focused on giving her three boys all the attention and love they craved especially when they'd just lost their sister (instead of trying so hard to replace her), maybe today she'd have three boys who loved, respected and honoured their mother, instead of five boys who kept her on her knees every night. To be fair though, I don’t know exactly what she went through during that period so who am I to judge?
But what I’m trying to say is this; whilst I pray that someday I'll be blessed with both sexes (and at least two boys- what can I say, I'm African!) the truth is that I would be happy with any. Boy or girl. I just pray I marry someone that feels the same way.